Review: “When everything changed,” a great refresher on how women’s lives, rights have changed

I’m generally not one to go and read books about the women’s liberation movements but Gail Collins’ “When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present” has become a book that I’ve reveled in reading.

I have no trouble getting back into the book on my short metro rail commute to and from work each day because the book is broken into many short sections.

Also, the book is stuffed full of short anecdotes that help me understand what it felt like to be a woman in the 1960s (because I haven’t read past the 1960s part yet) must have felt. I had no idea how much society underestimated our abilities and did everything they could to squash any independent and intelligent thinking. note: I say this with no malice.

I am also thankful the book seems to take as much of an unbiased approach as possible. That’s because I’m usually immediately turned off by books and articles that become angry or make irrational claims.

Anyway, if you don’t know much about how things have changed in the last 40+ years for women, this is a great and easy book to start with.

 

A busy month

I’m not sure how I let a month go by without posting something on my blog, well actually I do know why. I’ve been busier than ever.

And yet in the middle of the chaos that is my life, I had something wonderful happen. I met a guy at a place and time when I wasn’t looking, at the Renaissance Festival in Maryland, of all places.  And over the last several weeks, through dates and long phone conversations and a hell of a lot of texts, I’ve grown to really like him and Ernie and I are now in an exclusive relationship.

But first: the chaos and unnecessary drama

In the last month I’ve traveled to Colorado, California and Georgia (for pleasure, pleasure and family, and work). Also, every weekend (except one) since September 12, I’ve had a festival or event to participate in on behalf of a non-profit organization called BeadforLife. And in the middle of this, someone (actually several people) I thought I knew and understood, tossed a monkey wrench into my life that squeezed out nearly all of my remaining energy and free time.

Yet through it all, having my boyfriend in my life has made these last few weeks bearable and highlighted by moments of wonderful twitterpated happiness instead of being depressed and frazzled.

I once heard a “wise sage” say (OK, it was said by a boy I had a crush on in college, lol) that he just wanted to find someone who wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. I know it’s early in the relationship now, but I think I’ve found someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.  For the first time in a long time I’m calm about a relationship and just thrilled to be getting to know someone so wonderful and for whom I get a big cheesy grin on my face whenever I think about him. Yay.

 

The true test

A lot has changed in me since I returned from the monastery.  Yet in some ways I’ve fallen back into old patterns only to realize this and struggle to figure out how to break free. The true test of my ability to find time for solitude will come in the next two months.

For as much as I was determined to keep from adding logs to the fire and leave more space for solitude and spiritual reflection/worship, it seems I had a lot of commitments for the month of September and October lined up before I went to Mepkin Abbey and other duties seem to have piled on since then. Most of my obligations are ones I gladly take on, I should note, and are for humanitarian causes that I am especially dedicated to working toward.

Yet today, looking forward at my calendar and at my to-do list, I find myself with a growing urge to gasp for air. My body feels wound up inside, my neck hurts again and my thoughts are in a jumble.

From the weekend of September 12 until October 18 I have one free weekend. And by free I mean I haven’t yet decided among three possible options:  1. visit my Grandma, uncle and friend in Northern California. 2. spend it locked up in my house with my dog and out in nature with my phone turned off.  3. wait until that weekend to decide what I need to do, because there’s bound to be some urgent thing.

If I am not careful, I will become so frenzied by my busy schedule that I will again accidentally block out my worship/spiritual growth time and solitude time, which can be one and the same.  If any of you pray and feel the urge to do so tonight,  I would welcome a sentence thrown in for my minor concern and a request that God will strengthen me.

Tonight I think I’m going to go home, take the dog for a long walk and pull out my bible and some other books and read in silence (no music, no computer, no movies). Maybe I’ll take a long bath.

I can feel my body thirsting for solitude and quiet it as if I’ve run a marathon and I see the bottle of water held out by a volunteer just a few feet ahead. Only in my case the bottle of water is time at home, and the few feet ahead is a metro and bus ride.  I just pray that my apartment is not full of noise from people that live nearby tonight.

 

Can I get a witness?

A  little more than a year after I was in a car accident I’ve finally reached a settlement through my attorneys with the insurance company. Last week my attorneys faxed me a form that I sign to allow the attorneys to disburse the settlement check to pay my medical bills and themselves. I’ll get a little extra as well.

So on Wednesday I walked to the banks in my area to get the letter certified when I signed it. I finally found that BB&T had a teller who could help me for $2. When I handed her the paper, my money and my ID, she pushed it back at me under the thick glass teller window and said I needed two witnesses to sign it as well. “Seriously?” I asked. She nodded.

“Well then I guess I’ll have to scrounge some up right now,” I said and looked around me to see an empty bank floor. Ugh.

Just then a woman walked in and headed over to one of the standing-height wooden glass-top tables where people can sign the back of checks or do whatever else they need to do in a bank. I’ll be back in a second I said and walked over the to the woman and curled my left hand over my right hand in common begging style. “Excuse me,” I said. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I need someone to be a witness for me when I sign something, it should only take a second. Would you mind helping me?” I said and tried to beg with my eyes as much as possible.

She agreed and followed me over just as a girl about my age walked in and entered the teller line.

z “Excuse me,” I said and repeated what I’d told the other woman…”so if you could help me I’d be very grateful. And you could even count it as your good deed for the day,” I said and smiled.

“What is it for?” she asked.

“I need to sign this release so my attorneys can pay my medical bills from an auto accident. I just settled with the insurance company and I need those bills paid off,” I said, hoping that I’d tugged on a heart string enough to convince her.

“Well I guess it would be OK,” she said and I thanked her.

I mailed the signed, witnessed and certified letter later that day. Thank God that there weren’t two people in the bank at that time who were paranoid and selfish.

 

When is it OK to jump in front of a bus?

When is it OK to run in front of a moving bus?

Well, unless you hear your actions being narrated in real-time, you have a mystery woman composing your life’s-script on an old fashioned black typewriter and a child really does step in front of a bus and you could save them, the answer is: NEVER.

Yesterday, I was taking my usual commuter bus ride home from work in DC when a man ran, I mean he really ran, alongside and nearly in front of the bus.

While it’s common place for people to try to  flag a bus down and run to catch the bus before it leaves a stop, I can’t recall a time when I saw someone run along side the bus and nearly in front of it to grab the driver’s attention.

There were gasps and yells of non-distinct half words as people saw him. Then the bus driver saw him, slammed on his breaks and looked at the man outside.

The man was dressed in DC business casual attire, he had no visible marks or distinctive characteristics to him (other than he ran along the bus) to indicate he was loopy. No, he just wasn’t going to let the bus leave without him.

“There has to be some sanctity of life,” the man sitting next to me said. Thinking he was referring to the bus driver who should have been more watchful, I nodded. My seatmate continued, “I mean you can’t just run around a bus like that,” he said.

I nodded as if I’d understood my seat-mate all along. “Once you pass 24, you’re too old to be taking stupid chances like that,” I said, ignoring the nagging memories of many a reckless act I’d made  in recent years. He nodded.

The bus driver harrumphed and motioned for the “bus runner” to cross to the other side of the road. He indicated that the bus would pick the runner up at the curb where we swung back around. The bus did just that.

To my surprise, when we picked him up a few seconds later, the “bus runner” didn’t look the least bit ashamed of his daredevil act. Either he has an inflated ego, a missing sense of self preservation, or he really, really had to pee.

On a side note, I wish people would stop grumbling on the metro when it takes an hour to make a 20 minutes trip? Haven’t you silly people listened to the news, read the WMATA alerts or noticed that it’s all messed up? I want to get home just as much as you do.  So, suck it up and stop blowing hot air on the back of my neck every time the conductor gets on the intercom to explain the delay.