I’m in the waiting room of the Frederick hospital while my grandma is in surgery. My mom sits on the couch reading a book called incredible answers to prayer while dad has his arm around her for comfort. We blankly stare. We’ve already done the crying in private corners and behind divider curtains. I wasn’t afraid to publicly cry in front of grandma but I tried to keep my tears to a minimum more for the sake of my other family members than her. She has trust in God that he will have her in his hands no matter the outcome. I was able, however, to keep my composure while I kissed her cheek before they rolled her into surgery. I’ve been driving everyone around today and making errands back and forth to my parents’ house, my grandma’s place and the hospital for this and for that thing. Joan, my sis, is at work now. I promised to call her as soon as we learn something. I think I’ve used half a tank for small errands. But it’s good to have something to do.

Joan and dad have taken turns spending the night with grandma. Mom’s back can’t handle sleeping in a hospital chair so she had no choice but to spend nights away from the hospital.

I’m writing this from my treo right now. The waiting room is empty. They usually don’t do surgery on Sundays here but because someone else needed one the surgeon asked the staff to stay to take care of grandma.

There is no receptionist at the desk. We’ve been told to answer the black switchboard phone if it rings.
This wouldn’t be so big a scare if my grandma, mom and myself didn’t have a history of bad reactions to anethesia.
I’m ok right now. There is no choice but to be here for my family. I made sure grandma got to talk to my little brother and her other daughter (my aunt flora) on the phone before the transport nurses came and got her for surgery. I couldn’t get ahold of grandma’s brother. No one in my immediate family seems to have his phone number. So I called some relatives who would and left a message asking them to contact him.

I am determined as a result of this event to get the phone #s, email and mailing addresses of all the family members, friends and business associates who would need to be contacted in case something happens to any one of us in the future. I’m putting that on my 6 month to-do list. I’m going to call it the ICO (in case of) list.

That way I could just go down the list and check it off and not have to worry whether I left anyone out when my brain is under severe stress or sorrow.

I was supposed to be at a party today. and I’m supposed to go to another thing tonight. I need a mental brake from this situation, so assuming grandma comes out fine, I’m going to try to go to the slumber party. Well see. Tomorrow I might be hanging out with a buddy. And at a minimum I’m going to my favorite tree tomorrow when I get back to Takoma Park. (i have to go back to feed the bird either way tomorrow. Sophie is in frederick at my parents’ house).

I’m wearing what I thought I’d wear to church today because I didn’t expect to be spending the day here. I’m going to stop writing now to pray and stare at the black phone some more.

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